Tri-City Ledger -

By Earline Smith Crews
Guest Writer 

Cussin', singin' and telling lies in the hay


January 10, 2019

One of my favorite places to be authentic Earline was in the hay loft on a rainy day.

See, with so many siblings I always had plenty involvment of others around me. Sometimes I needed time out from sharing and fist fights, so when rainy days came to fill the house and Mama issuing noggin thumps and orders to go out and play on the porches I simply went to the barn.

Who goes to play in the barn on a rainy day with the smells of soggy manure and rats.

" Me"!

I climbed the ladder to the loft where Daddy had stacked the hay bales for us to rearrange into forts and stages for plays that were Hollywood worthy.

What a wonderful world. ?

We owned a neighbor friend who was aged in between me and my sister. We always shared this friend because we were so poor we could afford only one.

Helen lived with her grandparents due to divorce and economics. Helen had so many toys she had to stow the excess underneath her bed. I knew exactly where to look when I wanted to change outfits on hairless old dolls.

I'd crawl under the bed, huff way back through the cobwebs and dust rolls to pull out the box of doll dresses Helen's Grandma always kept making and we kept dirtying and ripping.

Helen was blessed in my eyes.

Helen spent many loud and happy hours at our house.

I spent many fun and quiet hours at her house.

Helen was an only child in a house of old folks who thought she hung the moon and allowed her to cuss because it was so cute.

Her favorite cuss word was, " Sonuvabitch".

Their old porch dogs were named "Kersha Sonuvabitch" and "Skipper Sonuvabitch".

I was a child in a house of many viberant other children and two strict parents.

I enjoyed some down time at Helen's while she taught me to use the power of cuss words.

Mama & Daddy didn't allow unnice words from us. I had to go covert to cuss.

So, one rainy day I went to the barn to play in the loft alone. I tugged and pushed haybales into a nice fort with deep sides. I climbed into that squared fort to lay on a pile of soft hay to read my Archie comic book. That dogeared old book had served us so well for so many readings I could read it with my eyes closed. I knew exactly which page Veronica would be primping on and opened my eyes to look at her beautiful black hair. Veronice Lodge was the Queen Bee in Riverdale. I wanted to be Veronica.

So, my hours turned into boring as I picked out peanuts from my fort to eat and let my mine rest from things I could never own.

Lightbulb above my head moment! ?

I could do some practice cussing.

" Kiss my butt "!

" Dammit"!

" Sorrysumbitch"!

I was letting it rip...............,

I was getting some powerful cussin' done when I heard,

" Earline, young lady, get yourself down here right now".

" Oh, how long has Mama been standing down there" ?

" Hey Mama, I'm just reading my Archie, it's too loud at the house".

" You gon' hear loud when your Daddy gets home".

" What you doing here Mama, I'm just practicing singing Somewhere Over The Rainbow for the 4H talent show." ?

" Was gonna milk this cow until the cussin' started".


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